Bad monkey...

I've fallen down on the job as far as blogging goes. I have to say, there hasn't been a ton of exciting things to report since the job interview. I really am going to need them to call me soon and tell me yes. I did finish my one assignment thus far this semester, which is exciting. Jesse will be here in 2 weeks, which is also exciting.

I've been thinking about it, and I would like a little more stability and certainty in my life. I know that really those things are kind of an illusion because we never know what is going to happen to us from one day to the next. I could get run over by a car just as easily as I could win the lottery or meet the man of my dreams. Still, I could really go for the illusion of stability. I want to be able to relax and not worry about looking for a job anymore or having to relocate or anything like that. I want to know where I'll be 2 months from now and that I'll have the money to eat. I can't remember if I talked about my vision for my life or not, but I think I did. Anyway, it includes getting this job, staying in Rennes, taking my friend Julie's apartment, having a French boyfriend, and possibly a cat.

On a kind of similar topic, some drunk stranger told me on Thursday night that I would have my first child, a daughter, at 35 or 36. That sounds about right. Though that first time mother business seems a little rough from all that I hear from people. Still, I want that for myself eventually, and 35 sounds like a good age. It gives me some more time with some stability but not yet totally locked in for life. Ahh, lovely!

Thankful

I am actually thankful to not be in Austin during SXSW and St. Patrick's Day madness. I really am not a big fan of SXSW since I'm not a music person. For me, it just meant that there was more traffic, lots of people who were too cool for school, and no parking downtown.

I had a lovely taco night with Julie and Nako. We used the taco seasoning Kristin was nice enough to send me and made tacos with ground beef, red beans (no pinto beans here), corn and flour tortillas (which were are not as good as in Texas, but you work with what you've got), tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, avocado, and sour cream. Delicious. We had the Breton version of tortillas for dessert...crêpes! That's why I love France.

I had a job interview with the private business school in Rennes. As always, there were a few more things I could have said, but it lasted an hour and a half, so I think that's a good sign. The woman did a lot of talking. Turns out the women I met with in December (who is the one who told me to forward my résumé) is the head of the department and would be my boss, so I guess it's good that she liked me enough to tell me to send my resume on to the HR Manager. The job would be working managing the exchange agreements between the school and partner schools abroad. I think that would be a nice mix of business and academic settings. It would be a permanent contract starting this summer, and they could sponsor me for a visa. Perfect for me.

Unfortunately, I was missing a few of the skills they were looking for (advanced knowledge of Excel and Word and previous experience negotiating contracts...though I stressed I'd done some negotiating with vendors and unofficial negotiation with students), so we'll see. I probably won't know anything more for another 3 to 6 weeks. She said she had 6 candidates to interview, and I was the first.

Fingers crossed.

Oops!

I made a conscious decision to not write everyday, but I didn't realize a whole week had passed. I'm aiming to write twice a week at least. That seems like enough to keep everyone updated without being overwhelming for anyone.

I had a very nice week. I actually had stuff to do every night, which is a nice feeling. I still haven't really made much advancement on the schoolwork, but at least I'm happy. I had classes all day everyday except Monday last week and pretty much the same thing this week. I also made a concentrated effort to exercise 3 times last week on top of a couple heavy walking days. That always makes me feel better. I went for a jog today too. My goal is to be back to running 30 minutes without stopping by May 7th. I need to make sure I do lots of stretches and strengthening stuff so that my knee won't keep me from reaching my goal. Jesse has started running and is kind of doing it with me, which is also good motivation.

In addition to school and exercise last week, I finally talked to my brother on the phone after 2 1/2 months of limited e-mails and no phone calls. It was so nice to get caught up with him. It sounds like he's doing well, and that is very nice to know.

I had a tiny little bit of homesickness this week. I can't imagine not living in France right now, and I really want to stay, but it's weird to think about not seeing my friends and family at home for such long periods of time. So, is life I suppose. I'd love to have my cake and eat it to, but alas, a choice has to be made.

I also thought about my dad this week...in a good way. I have found several theatre people on Facebook and just found another one that I really liked when I was a kid. I was thinking about how he taught me to be open to people. I mean, he was very social and talked to all different kinds of people all the time. I have to think that some of my love of talking to strangers and appreciation of different people comes from that.

Ok, I think there was more, but I'm going to go get to stretching and strengthening and then try to get to bed. At some point I'm going to HAVE to be productive. Those damn papers just refuse to write themselves!

I have a new nickname...

and I'm really excited about it. I have had very few nicknames over the years and generally don't like them. My all time least favorite is Cathy. I've calmed down as I've gotten older, but when I was a kid, I would actually correct people and tell them that wasn't my name. I find it kind of presumptuous to just give someone a nickname without asking what they think about it. The exceptions to the nickname dislike are Catareene (this is what my brother calls me and sometimes get modified to all kinds of things), Cath (I accept that one but still prefer Catherine), CJ (Annette started that one and people at work started calling me that too sometimes. I like that one ok), and now Cathou (which with the French pronunciation sounds like kazoo but with a T).

Perhaps the best part of the nickname is that it makes me feel more like a part of Julie's friends. I spend most of the day with them yesterday, and it was a lot of fun. The down side of drinking wine all day and night is that I was not productive at all today. This seems to be a common theme lately. I really am looking forward to having a regular schedule again. I am not seeming to be self-disciplined enough to handle setting my own schedule.

Lovely Day

I am having a lovely day, and it's only 5 o'clock. So much time left for wonderfulness. I woke up relatively early this morning and did a load of laundry. I cleaned my room a little too. I meant to make it to the store but didn't quite have time. I'll have to go to the smaller, more expensive one tomorrow, mais c'est pas grave.

Then I went to meet Julie at the outdoor market. When I left it was super sunny with beautiful blue skies, so I went out without my jacket for the 2nd time in 2 weeks(prior to that, I hadn't gone out without a jacket and/or several layers of sweaters since October). We bought some vegetables for a soup we're going to make together and then sat outside at a cafe and ate bread and cheese with her friends and drank wine and talked. I love Julie, and I love her friends. I'm so thankful to know them and be included when they hang out. Seriously, this is why I live in France.

It ended up getting a little cloudy and chilly, and a jacket could have definitely come in handy, but still, spring is on its way. We're already getting much longer days; they're currently about 3 hours longer than they were in mid-December. How exciting! Well, in Brittany, spring is kind of like winter in Texas, but after so much time of grey and cold, I consider highs in the upper 50s and low 60s to be warm. What happened to me?

On my way home, I stopped to say hello to one of the homeless people I see when I do my volunteer work. He insisted that I sit and talk, so I sat with him for a bit. He alternated between saying he wanted to get an apartment and get out of the street and saying he preferred his life as it is because he gets to see and talk to people all the time. He introduced me to someone else who stopped by to say hello as his good friend. In fairness, I don't think he actually knows my name, but I still really appreciated it. It almost made me cry. He's my mom's age but seems older. I suppose that happens when you're homeless for that long and drink that much wine everyday.

In just a little bit, I'm going with Julie to one of her friends house to have apple pie and ice cream, followed by more drinks I'm sure. Hanging out with them may not be so great for the diet, but if given the choice between being skinny and alone in my room or fat and surrounded by good people, I'll choose fat every time.

I should know better...

I told myself last night to write before I went out because I always have good intentions of coming home early but never do. Ahhh, the student life.

I don't know if it's because of all the sleeping I did earlier this week, but after going out last night, I couldn't go to sleep even after I got in bed, so it was 3 when I finally feel asleep, and then for some unknown reason, I woke up at 7. I was wide awake. I lied in bed for an hour, but then I got up. When I wanted to sleep all the time, I told myself that's what my body wanted and obeyed. When it didn't want to sleep, I figured I should listen to that too. Anyway, all of that to say that I am tired and aiming to be in bed really soon.

Class this morning was lame, which was amplified by the fact that I was tired. The teacher is nice and even funny sometimes but a little strange and not especially interesting. I guess after a while I just started enjoying watching him like you watch a TV, so it wasn't so bad. Class this afternoon was great. I love the teacher. I want her to be my friend outside of class. She's funny and smart and sassy and British. One of the best teachers we've had this year. I do like what I'm learning for the most part, but I am more than ready to be done with school. I'm just trying to go with it because there is really no other option. I still love being in France, and school is what got me here. It reminds me of a little song some of you might remember. It goes like this:

You take the good, you take the bad,

you take them both and there you have

The Facts of Life, The Facts of Life

Sleepy

I slept a ton today and didn't go to the gym as planned, nor did I even go to class. I'm really having a motivation issue, and it's almost worrying me. I'm having a hard time making myself get work done or get out of the house. I'm trying to remind myself that it's ok and that everything will be ok. I've just felt on the borderline of a funk off and on for a couple months. I know things will get better; I'm just afraid of settling in to complacency. I have to at least make it through this semester. Failure is not an option.

What?

I noticed a warning on my Kleenex package today that says:

"It is a violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling. Use only as a facial tissue."

Umm, apparently it's an anti-viral tissue that kills cold germs, but still, what use could it have other than a facial tissue? I mean, what alternative could be so serious that it necessitates a Federal law? Really, I've been thinking about it today, but I've come up with nothing.

I went to class this morning and then took a nearly 4 hour nap. I still haven't started the paper I was supposed to start in January. I really need to start soon or it will become a problem.

I've been meaning to talk for a while about how it's a little strange to be an American abroad. I told someone recently that it was kind of like being a celebrity. Everyone hears about you on TV, so they think they know you. People think they know a lot about the US because they hear all about our news, watch our TV shows and movies, listen to our music, and are just generally bombarded by American things. The problem is that all those things don't sum up a whole country and all its people. Seriously, I know there must be others like the cast members of Jersey Shore, but they don't represent me or my friends even a little bit. In fact, I've never seen a TV show or movie that I thought represented me or my friends. Wait. I take that back. There was a little bit of me and Jesse in Will and Grace. Furthermore, 90% of the time, just saying I'm from Texas automatically makes me more interesting. A Texan who speaks French well is sometimes more than they can get their heads around.

In the same vein, people tell me that I'm less American than other Americans. I don't really know what that means. I guess on one hand, I feel like a pretty global citizen, but on the other, I feel pretty American. I think most of my friends are like me. Then again, I am pretty special :-)

Great week

I took a week off from blogging while Kristin was here. It was good to see her and to laugh so much. It's kind of amazing because whenever we hang out, it's so much fun...never boring, even when we're just hanging out at the house. We ate and ate and ate and drank and drank and drank. I gained several pounds back, but it was worth it. That being said, I'm looking forward to getting back to normal living. February was kind of a crazy month in general. I'm thinking March might need to be a little calmer.

We finally got our grades back today. I passed everything. I'm actually second in the class, and my friend is first. She's really awesome all around. I like her a lot and am regularly impressed with her. She is only 23, but I don't really notice the age difference. She also seems to have found a balance. I admire her. She is first in the class, finds time for friends, does yoga and swims, drinks a few times a week, is funny, and supportive. All-around awesome! This weekend, she took me and Kristin to her parents' beach apartment in Dinard. We went to a crêperie for lunch and then ate raclette for dinner. I even got to watch a current Grey's Anatomy episode. We talked and ate and drank wine.

I had more to say after that long of an absence, but as per usual, it's late, so I'm signing off. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to better organize my time and thoughts.