Oh, that's much better!

I just snapped out of my funk, which started creeping in a while ago but really took off after my bad interview last week. Thanks to my friend Darcy (who often acts as my guardian angel, even when she's not trying), I figured out what was bothering me. I told her I was in a funk, and all she asked was what conversations were going on in my head.

The answer came back instantly and loudly, "I can't!" It was followed by , "I'm afraid," and "out of control," but those I already knew and weren't really at the root of the problem. If I truly believe that the Universe is out to provide me with all that I need, then what was I afraid of? That I couldn't or wouldn't do what was necessary. I was slightly frozen with fear that maybe I would just sit here and do nothing. So, it was not really getting this particular job that was upsetting me or cheating on my smoking or overeating but rather fear that maybe I wouldn't do anything about it. What I realized this afternoon is that despite my occasional behavior that suggests otherwise, I am a woman of action! Sometimes it takes me a while to get fed up enough, but I will not sit around in misery and do nothing. I will do something, damn it! I clearly have the worst balance ever because I fall down a lot on the path of life, but thus far, I keep getting back up and dusting myself off. So, I say this as a reminder to myself so that the time I take to get up after my next tumble might be a little shorter: Love, hope, and possibility are infinite. I can! I will! I shall!

On that note, I'm off to the gym!